Today marks the 42nd anniversary of the Pope’s famous Humanae Vitae, in which all forms of artificial birth control were prohibited by the Roman Catholic Church. I, for one, believe that because only God can create life from non-life, that only he has the right to terminate it.

And when does life begin? At conception, of course. This is obvious because only when two lives come together can another be created, and even that’s a miracle. That said, not all forms of artificial birth control terminate life. Instead, they only prevent a new life from being started in the first place.

There’s a certain hypocrisy, however, about the Pope’s remarks. This was captured beautifully by the then Secretary of Agriculture, Earl Butz, who, incidentally, had to resign for his comments. (So much for the 1st Amendment.) He said, “He-a no play-a the game, make-a no the rules.” I still chuckle when I think of that, and now that I live in Italy, I’m amused even more because I hear so many English words pronounced as if they ended in “a.”

We all  know that doctors are more likely to listen to doctors, teachers to teachers, and mechanics to mechanics. But when a celibate tries to tell us how we should conduct ourselves behind the bedroom door, that’s taking matters a bit too far. Truth, whatever it is, ought to come from a credible source. In matters pertaining to procreation, it should be promulgated, at the very least, by someone who is married; not by a person who doesn’t even approve of it among his peers.

Organizations are full of hypocrites, too. How often have you been obligated to work a shift schedule that was written by someone who only ever worked Monday to Friday, from 8 to 5 and took an hour for lunch? When was the last time you saw the division manager assembling something in your shop after telling you that greater productivity was needed? And why is it that when cost-cutting becomes a necessity, those at the bottom of the food chain are laid off first while the CEO and the Board still fly first class?

Talk is cheap. Anyone can say what he or she thinks ought to be done, as long as someone else has to do it. I’ve said this before, but it’s worth repeating: You get the behavior you reinforce, and that goes for what others are allowed to do, too. If you want people in your organization to work shifts, then at least have a shift-worker write the schedule. If you want greater productivity, then by jove, go down to the shop or assembly line and show people how they can improve. And if the company needs to cut costs, then start by paring the fat from the top and put everyone in economy class.

The way to combat hypocrisy is to demand of yourself those things that you demand of others. You can’t have one without the other.

Bruce Hoag, PhD, CPsychol
Work Psychologist

I can’t recall exactly when I first heard the phrase, but there was a time when the” tip of the iceberg” referred to one small part of a ginormous problem. Icebergs, as you know, are just large, misshaped ice cubes that float around the North and South Atlantics, and that push the happy buttons of some oceanographers. Hollywood made a movie about the demise of the Titanic, the largest and most luxurious cruise ship of its day, which failed to complete its maiden voyage in April, 1912 because of an encounter with one.

It’s fairly well known that only 10% of an iceberg is visible above the surface. The rest is below the water line. So, the “tip of the iceberg” is that relatively small bit that can be seen. So the phrase was intended to be a metaphor for the idea that the part of a problem that was being discussed was a very small part of the whole.

Somewhere along the line, the meaning changed 180 degrees. Instead of it being a bad thing, it became a good thing as well, such that it referred to a small part of anything that was huge: a problem, a concept, an idea, etc. This has done nothing to help interpersonal communication in organizations, one of the biggest problems at work today.

If you read my free newsletter, you’ll know that each month I talk about a topic from the perspectives of both managers and employees. Each group has its own ideas about how to interpret any particular issue, what should be done about it, and what one group’s behavior means in terms of the other’s.

Misunderstandings are a fundamental part of the challenges of interpersonal communication. But, what can be worse than using a phrase that refers to two diametrically opposed ideas? This is not as simple as using a word such as “cleave,” for example, where the context makes it easy to discern what is meant. The interchangeability of the phrase “the tip of the iceberg” makes its use refer to a negative interpretation as easily as a positive one. And that means that before any discussion takes place about the problem, concept or idea, the parties involved already have conflicting opinions about what happens next.

In order to resolve interpersonal communication problems at work, the parties concerned must at least agree on the meanings of the terms they intend to use, and that means that neither can assume that the other knows the definitions.

This is a ginormous topic of its own, so I’ll leave you to think about it yourself. I hope that you will return to this blog and leave your comments.

Bruce Hoag, PhD, CPsychol
Work Psychologist

I thought about this blog post the other day when I was preparing to teach my MBA students.

The received wisdom, among academics, is that leaders are such rational people that, in the heat of battle, they will objectively consider from among the many different styles of leadership, choose the most appropriate one, and then put it into practice. Nothing could be further from the truth. Yes. You read that correctly. You and I both know that that’s not what happens in the real world.

In practice, leaders are no more or less rational than anyone else. All of us prefer to do things in one way or another. But, when leaders come under pressure, they not only don’t consider the different styles of leadership available to them, or even what the situation demands: Instead, they revert to what is comfortable for them. This is not a blanket condemnation of leaders, but rather of the assumptions made about the application of these different styles of leadership.

Some leaders are more task-oriented and “don’t have time to be touchy-feely.” Others prefer to develop relationships, believing that the tasks will largely take care of themselves if there is good communication, honesty, and trust between leaders and those they lead.

Most will recognize that some sort of balance probably needs to be found; but that’s not on the agenda when the economy is weak, sales are declining, or profits are down. In my experience, task-focused leadership is applied when things are the most difficult, and relationship-emphasized leadership is used only when things are going pretty well.

Of course, there are exceptions. I hope that you work somewhere where that’s the case.

Bruce Hoag, PhD, CPsychol
Work Psychologist

http://www.p-advantage.com

Ever notice how often Christmas brings out the worst in people? Let’s be honest. There are a number of businesses out there that only contact you for three reasons during the year: One is to sell you something, another is to send you an invoice or give you a receipt, and the last one is to send you a Christmas card or email telling you to have a Happy Whatever. So, during this time of year, you can expect to receive about one-third of their correspondence, which probably explains at least part of the reason why it’s so fancy: you’ve paid for it with a different third.

Personally, I get rather annoyed when companies who have only sold me something or have managed to take money off me the rest of the year in some other way (think utilities) then have the nerve to send me a Christmas card. I feel like saying, “No thanks, chum. Just take it off my bill.” I’m sure that none of you behave like this, so let’s just shake our collective heads and heave a big sigh.

There will be critics out there who say I’m just being cynical, but that’s not the way I see it. Yes, it’s good to be kind to people, but there’s no reason to confine it to one week on either side of Christmas, nor is it necessary to wait for the other person to blink first. Showing consideration for our suppliers and our customers (including the ones in our organizations) is a gift we can give them all year long; after all, it’s not just for Christmas.