I don’t know about you, but given a choice I’d rather have fun while at work. We spend enough time there. Why not enjoy it?
One of the ways we can do that is to share humorous experiences and stories with each other.
Humor at work, under the best circumstances, is a delicate balancing act. It demands the very best interpersonal communication skills, because what’s funny to you or to me may not be funny to someone else. You’ve probably noticed this yourself; but, have you ever thought about why this is the case?
Maybe you’ve seen instances when someone made a joke, and no one laughed. Or maybe everyone laughed except for one or two people. Have you ever wondered why? Or have you assumed, like most people, that those who didn’t laugh were just ignorant, had no sense of humor, or needed to lighten up? Each of those responses tells you something about the differences between you and those around you. And these glimpses into the psyche of others are important.
Interpersonal communication skills are essential when it comes to humor at work for these reasons. As a manager, you know how easy it is for information to get confused somewhere between who said it and who heard it; or between who sent it and who read it. It’s a common problem. And so all the while we’re trying to have fun, there’s the risk that the punchline will be misunderstood or not appreciated.
One reason why misunderstandings occur is because so much humor depends on exaggeration. Elaborating on the details is something we all do because it’s the contrast between the things should be and our description that is funny. Sometimes our comments are about events or things; but, more often than not, they’re about people we both know. They may even be about each other. And so the jokes we make are, a little bit anyway, at the expense of you or me. Do you know why we laugh at these jibes? It’s because we already appreciate one another, and we know what the boundaries are. We know what we can say, and what we shouldn’t; and we never cross that line.
However, when the relationship is weak, such as when either of us is new to the job and therefore to the peer group in the workplace, it’s easy to assume that we know where the line is. Why? Because we have a tendency to believe that those we meet are like us, particularly if there’s something about them that’s familiar to us.
So the problems surface when are assumptions prove to be false. We assume that someone is like us, and when we do that we also assume that they share our sense of humor. It’s all too easy for us then to drop a clanger: to make a joke that only we find funny. Talk about a lead balloon!
The ability to read others correctly and to banter with them without offense demonstrates that you have good interpersonal communication skills. Alternatively, the person with who you are joking could take what you say personally, in which case the joke is no longer harmless.
In a larger setting, this is even more important because more people are involved, including informal groups. In this situation, you have to win the person who is the unofficial leader of that group. He or she will indicate to his or her members whether it’s acceptable to appreciate your humor or not. This, of course, can involve other issues such as who ultimately holds the power.
The important thing is that your interpersonal communication skills are developed well enough so that you’re able to understand what’s funny to those around you, and what’s not.
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